A year ago...

With our new school year starting on Monday,

and Fall getting revved up,

I can't help but recall,

what things looked like a year ago...

and how quickly they grow...

Into young men.

So here's to another year of growth,

by God's grace.

And to looking a little more like

what He made us for.

Guess what?

Well, friends, I am SO excited to share with you our most recent (as if we do them often) family photos, taken by the amazing Heba Salama.

Heba is Noah's cousin's wife.

Yeah, that sounds distant.

It's not as much as it sounds.

At a recent family get together(as if we do them often)

while I chowed on her husband, Ed's , amazing fried chicken (don't tell Jillian Michaels he makes this amazing fried chicken. They were finalists on "The Biggest Loser" a few seasons ago and have done amazing with their health;)

And just to be clear, I don't think they ate it.

But BOY DID I.

I could do another post entirely just about the fried chicken!

But I won't.

Yet wasn't it kind of them not to bring carrot sticks to the family get together?!

They really went all out to bless us with that fried chicken...

I'm doing it again.

Moving on from the fried chicken.

In between mouthfuls of the "you know what" we started talking about our families need for an updated family photo to use as we embark on raising our support to do work in Haiti.

Heba generously offered to bless us with a family photo shoot.

And I responded similarly to this offer as I did to the remarkable chicken.

I gobbled it up!

We had a blast getting to spend time with Ed and Heba because even though we're family and we only live an hour away from each other, it can seem like an ocean with our busy lives.

But that is all about MY good news.

Now for YOUR good news(and a little bit of mine still).

Heba Salama Photography wants to offer to help us raise money for our adoption, too!!!!!

For anyone who is referred by us to Heba, she is offering this SWEET deal...

She will do your photos for the regular session price of $150, BUT

she'll give $50 of that back to our adoption!!

On top of that you will get a $50 print credit to use to purchase prints from the shoot, along with a free 8x10!

And as you can see,

she is going to give you photos to remember.

So if you think it's time to get some photos taken AND

you'd like to help us adopt,

head on over to Heba's site

and email her, mentioning our family.

She's wonderful to work with and I know you'll love everything about your time with her.

And Heba, again,

THANK YOUUUUUU!!!!!

Especially for taking a picture of me leap frogging over my husband's head.

I feel this really captures our marriage.

Know what I mean?

Yeah, me neither.

But I LOVE this picture.

And you.

Thanks!

We've been enjoying the holidays over this way. We had a slow Thanksgiving and enjoyed simplicity. Noah had just got back home from Haiti the week before so we took the opportunity to savor the company of each other and the quiet.

It may have been so quiet because my mom is giving my toddler champagne.

Ok.

You're right.

She would never.

It's just water.

But you must admit...it looks suspicious.

But what didn't look suspicious...

is this pair of delectable chicks, prepared by my delectable man

for Thanksgiving.

Also delectable...

this guy

taking all the festivities in stride

in a basket

And these guys

each taking turns

putting the star atop the Christmas tree

This is going to get MUCH harder when

A)they hit their teens.

But I'm sure Noah will be able to lift them up their for quite some time:)

B) we continue to have more children.

Can't you just see it now?

"Ok, well done (take star back down)

"Next!" (next child puts star atop tree in ceremonial fashion)

"perfect" (take start down)

"next!"

and on and on....

or

C) Everyone takes turns yearly...

also a problem with many children.

"The last time I put the star on the tree, I was 10 years old, and look at me now, in my twenties."

Yeah...it's problematic.

We'll survive:)

And speaking of survival...ok well maybe not survival at all,

but definitely a good laugh...

I thought you'd all enjoy this moment I recently encountered

"What is this?" you may ask.

No worries, I don't expect you to know...unless your kid has a trach.

You see this little "tin man from wizard of oz" thing on his head is a humidifier that is supposed to go around his neck while he naps to keep his trach secretions moist,blah,blah,blah

Anyway.

He was supposed to be napping. Instead he tried taking all his equipment off and got his trach mist collar stuck at his ears.

I came in to see him like this.

So I rushed to relieve him from all discomfort....

well, almost.

I rushed to grab my camera, take a good pic, THEN relieve him from his discomfort.

I think he's funny, that one.

The quirky things that take place when your 20 month old has a trach. For sure, his peers will not have similar baby pictures.

AND...great news you have all been waiting for...Willio and Chrismen had their...surprise...little girl, NOT boy, this morning in Haiti. Everything appears to have gone well, but please keep them in your prayers. It appears the ultrasound technicians misread the gender...a few times...and the due date...by a month. But anyways. Baby is here. We are grateful.

And be looking for a post VERY soon with some great info on our fundraising for the adoption:)

For now, check out the button at the top right for our JUST LOVE COFFEE store. Buy great fair trade coffee AND help us raise the funds for the adoption:) Check it out.

Thank You, Jesus

So sorry for the long delay.... we have been so busy planning for a very special littlest Joyner's 1st BIRTHDAY!!!! More pictures to come...

Yes, as of March 28th, this past Sunday, Shepherd was 1 year old. One year ago, I was posting THIS. It has been such a full year and there were SO many who shared this year with us. I will write more about it in a couple of days but I had to take the opportunity to write quickly (I'm headed out for a girls only weekend with my most favoritest ladies!!).

It was around this time on April 1st of last year that we all prayed and hoped our way through Shepherd's heart surgery. I wished that it had only been an April fools joke, but alas, this time last year my littlest guy went through one of the most painful surgeries a person can have. It is called cardio-thoracic because they get to the heart by cutting through the muscles and tendons in the side of the chest and pulling the ribs apart. OUCH!

My baby was 4 days old.

His heart was the size of a walnut and didn't work right.

He could not have lived without the procedure.

Risks included paralyzation and death.

The area they were working on was his aortic valve and was about the size of a small straw.

We arrived early to pray with him and hold him and kiss him, not guaranteed that we would have him at the end of the day.

I tried to keep my composure as Noah and I and a nurse walked Shepherd to the OR.

I went through way more kleenex than I'd like to admit.

I thought of how unbelievably perfect he looked and begged God not to let it be my last glimpse at his beautiful face.

Then they came to get him and acted like this was old-hat. It may have been for them but not for me.

We walked a long hallway back to the PICU waiting room to lots of family and all of our pastors...and we all prayed, together, out loud......I wrote their prayers down to help me stay controlled and to always have them to remember....and we waited.

And God met us. There in the waiting room. There, walking the halls of the Pediatric Intensive Care to the beeps, the noises, the smells, and never any crying- at least of children. He was with us when we walked them day after day. When we held our new friends and neighbors at the hospital, as they lost their children. The expected 2 weeks became 2 months and the "fairly common" heart surgery became a very uncommon little boy with every uncommon complications they never expected. That we never expected.

And here we are, a year later. Everything didn't turn out exactly like we had hoped. But that's not the point of life and something we are not guaranteed.

And at the same time, everything turned out far better than we had hoped. And THAT is not the point of our life or anything we are guaranteed, either.

And we're young, we want more children.

Shepherd still has a trach and a possible heart surgery in the future. There are so many moments and years ahead of the unknown. But in all of the unknown, one thing has become more known.

In all of the complex emotions and the stumbling around that this life holds, there is one that is prefect and unchanging.

There is VERY little I know about my life or it's promises and disappointments. As long as Jesus continues to be there in the middle of these moments, showing me His great beauty, I pray I can walk, maybe even stumble through the past, present and the future. Even in the unknown.

He's been so good, because he can be nothing but Good. It's the very essence of who he is, regardless of out lives circumstances. We are forced to redefine "good" not on what meets our expectations, but based on trust.

And this year has given us ample reason to trust the goodness of God.

So may I repeat the title of my post as of a year ago, "Thank You, Jesus."

World's Toughest Cowboy

You've waited long enough. (Implying that the wait was a purposeful attempt at keeping you in suspense, instead of a lack of time)

It took me a while, but the secret's out! This cowboy's special 3 year birthday surprise that I alluded to in the previous post was......

THE RODEO!!!!!!! World's toughest rodeo, to be exact.

And it was everything we could have hoped for and more. If they come back to Raleigh next year, I would seriously consider going again.

We got awesome seats where we could overlook the chute and all the livestock and the cowboys preparing for their rides.

It was so insane watching those guys risk their lives for our entertainment and their adrenaline. But hey, as long as its not any of MY boys, we're good. And just in case you doubt, Aslan informed me upon leaving that it was all really cool but he would prefer the barrel racing(which some cowgirls did during an intermission) "because it's a lot safer and you don't get thrown off."

Thank you very much.

It really was a blast. they boys got to go on pony rides beforehand. Our local news station put a picture of Aslan riding his pony up on their website. He's just that cute, partner.

And as if a rodeo alone isn't enough- we got mimi and papa all to ourselves ALL day long.

It started with lunch at a Texas steakhouse- how country of us.

They even had real saddles.

And those my friends, are Haddon's new birthday boots. And it must be said that they day before the rodeo it occurred to me that Haddon no longer fit in his cowboy boots. But getting new cowboy boots is harder than it may seem-cause they don't carry them at Target. And frankly, if it's not in Target- I don't need it. BUT I needed these boots. So at 7:30 am that morning I checked Craigslist, not expecting much. I should have known better. Not only did I find 2 pairs of cowboy boots, brand new, in exactly the same size as my boys wear, but they were only minutes from my house. And best of all ...they were $5 a piece!!!

Woohoooo!

Anyheww...

And as the cherry on top, the big day even started with a bit of huge, flaky snow for us. You know , the kind you can...

Eat. Or at least try.

Happy 3rd Birthday Haddon. Your the coolest 3 year old cowboy! (Don't worry. I got your back, Aslan)

As usual, we missed Shepherd, but he got to hang out and get ready for bed with one of his favorite nurses. (And I have no idea why the computer insists that I underline the last sentence.)

Which reminds me...to end on a random note.

Speaking of typing, it has been noted that my style of typing down the center is odd, distracting, and not consistent with the way the human brain processes information.

The only problem is- this is how I think. I type this way because it feels like how I think. I feel as though I can distinguish between my thoughts in a more natural fashion. I am typing the same way I am thinking. I mean who thinks in one, big, running,orderly, square? Well some, but not me.

What are you thinking? Is it distracting or are you feelin me? Let me know. I am curious.

Spring Chicken...or Spring & Chickens

Look what I can do?

Yup- He's officially crawling... EVERYWHERE!

Whew, it's gonna get busier around here-which is hard to believe. It's interesting because Shep is a totally typical 10 month old in just about every way, save that pesky piece of hardware in his throat.I fear this is going to present some unique challenges to our household in the near future. For instance, he now pulls at his trach or HME (the filter attached to his trach) ALL THE TIME.!! He then proceeds to suck on it like a cool new toy (I won't go into the details but, this is not sanitary). So far he has not pulled out his actual trach, thank God, though I'm sure he will. This would be very dangerous,especially if he did it and we didn't see it happen. That IS his airway- He MUST keep it in and keep it safe. This means no sticking his finger in it, therefore clogging it- yup, he does that. No sticking ANYTHING else in it, for that matter. The list goes on and on and as our boy develops like a typical 10 month old baby, which we are SOOO grateful for, we are presented with some rather demanding new challenges. It should be fun.

He's had a number of colds recently and the most recent one became a small pneumonia. Were on the home stretch of that one and grateful for it. We really are busy little bees over here, especially when Shep gets sick. Or shall I say, there are three busy little bees and one devoted Queen bee.

And a very exciting event is about to take place this weekend. This bundle of fun is turning three soon, so we are going to surprise the older boys with a trip somewhere very appropriate. Can you guess? One hint--cowboys. That's all I'm giving you but I'll post pics soon.

Yeah he's a pretty awesome kid. For example. Without my knowing he brought along the vampire fangs from Halloween to the park the other day. Only he thinks they are........

TIGER FANGS!!!!!!!

I won't tell him differently.

And WE cannot wait to be going out as a WE more often when the weather gets nice. Silly as it may sound,probably one of the hardest things about Shepherd's condition, for me, is the absence of him in the day to day. We spend TONS of time at home and use our nursing hours to run any errands (since, for the most part,I can't drive alone with him). So it's not that we don't get time with Shepherd. It's the simple things like going to Target as a family or snuggling my baby on my hip at church on Sunday, or letting friends and family enjoy being around him and getting to know him, or going to dinner as a family. All of these kinds of things and more are things we have chosen not to involve Shepherd in during this season of his life. Some of it is practical and some for his protection from serious illness.

All that to say, boy needs a tan, so come on Spring.

Oh, and, lastly,

the ladies wanted to say hello. Lookin good, gals.

Seriously, one of our best purchases of the year.

The New Year...so far

So I got a new camera for Christmas.....

I've got a LONG way to go but I'm having so much fun. It doesn't hurt that 3 beautiful little people live with me and give me ample opportunity to capture beautiful moments...or at least try.

As you can see, Shep has taken up running marathons- thus the "Pumba" track suit.

Ok, well maybe not marathons, but he's 'army crawling' all around the house, causing me to run at least 1/2 marathon's to keep up.

He was recently evaluated by his physical therapist and he passed ALL of his physical goals set up for him when he came home at 2 months. So proud of you, my man.

Your strong.

Don't forget it!

In case you don't see it clearly, can I just point out what his outfit says? Yes that is,

"Chicks dig scars"

I mean seriously, even if it weren't on clearance @ Target, I'd have had to get it.

P.S. Your scars are per-fec-to, my dear boy. They are part of your perfect body, made by a perfect God, who wrote you a beautiful story.

Sometimes I can't believe that the same spots I cringed to see on my tiny baby, the same open wounds, so fragile, now get tickled and kissed on a daily basis.

In other Shepherd news, he really is learning so much right now. He's gaining weight, though still smaller than other 10 month olds. We are starting to do sign language with him and he's picking up quick.

Our last cardiology appointment was remarkably encouraging. You may or may not remember a couple blog entries in May of last year, that were typed during the time of his cath procedure. The first was the day before his risky cath.

- Lord, you know how small and weak my faith is. You know how afraid I am . I am so grateful that your actions toward us , toward Shepherd, are not based on the amount of faith I can muster up. Please help me not to muster. I know I don't have to be a strong mommy. I can be a fearful mommy and you will still be just as near, nearer. And that I ask of you, that I beg of you. Please show me your nearness so brilliantly that I can face tomorrow confidently. Please remind me that you, who hold each star in place every moment of every day will be there in that cath lab holding my son.

The second was short and to the point, and written through tears and trepidation as we waited in a small waiting room surrounded by family...

- Please pray. The doctor just came to get us to tell us that they will need to do the surgery. Not only that but it's in a much more dangerous area than they expected and the risk is much greater than before. If the aorta tears, he will not survive it. Please pray that God will hold his aorta together and protect him.

Then, hours later, this post

They just came out to tell us he made it through the surgery. Thank you Lord, for bringing our son through one more surgery safely. You are to be praised. The doc said that it was mildly successful. The part that they stretched out can act like a rubber band and tighten back down, though. Please pray that the same hands that hold the water in it's place will hold his aorta open. The hope is that this will buy him time to get strong (3-6 months). At that time, they will have to do open heart surgery because of the location of the narrowing and how large an area it is. Please pray that the next few months he can recover well and gain weight to prepare him well for the next BIG surgery.We'll get to see him soon. Thank you for praying.

Well, God answered these prayers.

At his last appointment, they noticed significant growth for Shepherd's heart, specifically the narrowed portion that they ballooned during the cath. So... it is growing with him. This is, BY Far, the best case scenario for this situation. So much so that they didn't schedule our next appointment for 2 more months and thought I don't place my hope in it, they used phrases like "If things keep going this way, I'm hopefully he'll never need anything done to his heart."

Good stuff. God stuff.

Airway wise, we'll try de-canulation again May 06, 2010. I'll share more of my thoughts on this in the next novel/post. For right now, were just living in a cave, eating healthy, being proactive about everyones health and trying to keep Shepherd from illness. He has acquired 2 cold viruses so far and 2 trach infections but has done relatively well with both. It is very high maintenance but we have kept him out of the hospital. Praise be to God.

*******************

And

In other news........

Warning: when you attempt to look at your dragon's tongue, you may go cross-eyed

and your mom may take advantage of the situation-

by using her new camera.

Haddon attempts to recreate a scene out of "Crocodile Dundee"

He seriously was carving a piece of wood with a plastic knife-at a public park.

There is no question, this is my favorite picture thus far of the boys with cousins.

For MANY reasons.

But this is a close second. Mostly because of the creepy kid on the far left.

Someone tell his mother to quit making light of his thug-like tendencies.

And last but Ohhhhh, not least......

The ladies in our backyard have started making us breakfast every morning.