Friday, May 29, 2009

Whatever thy grief or trouble be, take every drop in thy cup from the hand of Almighty God. He with whom "the hairs of thy head are all numbered," knoweth every throb of thy brow, each hardly drawn breath, each shoot of pain, each beating of the fevered pulse, each sinking of the aching heart. Receive, then, what trials are to THEE, not in the main only, but one by one, from His all-loving hands; thank His love for each; unite each with the sufferings of thy Redeemer; pray that he will thereby hallow them to thee. Thou wilt not know now what He thereby will work in thee; yet, day by day, shalt thou receive the impress of the ever-blessed Son, and in thee, too, while thou knowest it not, God shall be glorified. "

- E.B. Pusey, Joy and Strength, quoted in Keep A Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot

Mr. Wide eyed is just hanging out and working on recovery. And we're just trying not to until we get home. But of course we are not being successful. We are- God willing- going home in 3 1/2 days.  The above quote was helpful to remember, as I think on the MANY moments that God has sovereignly ordained these past months. And now, as the end of the hospital stay draws near, I pray I will continue to receive each moment as it comes.

Only God knows what the future holds for us, for Shepherd. I hope to be more sure, because of these months, that God can be trusted with the unknown. 
Even now, as I face each consecutive night here in the hospital, I long for this part of the journey to be over. I yearn for the comfort of home and the comfort of my boy in my arms while at home. I hope Noah's grad party tomorrow will be the last time I drive home without my son.
Oh, there are so many questions about the future, but I hope that I feel safer there then I once did.  When we get home we will have soooo much adjusting to do. We have a new normal to find for our family. There are new memories to be made, challenges to face, many new relationships, new disciplines, much learning to be done. There are countless doctors appointments to go to, hurdles to overcome, and much change to experience. 
But how I hope that I can accept this change with gratefulness and most of all trust. The bible says that God loves doing good to us so much that he literally burst out into song over it.
 In Zephaniah 3:17 it says

"The Lord your God is with you,
He is mighty to save,
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."
That's what I hope for from God in this coming season- to be quieted with His love. 
But I will not presume to know what that will look like. Just that it will be good.

As far as medical stuff goes, Shep has been struggling a little with breathing lately. The plan is just to send him home on a little oxygen and wean him off it as he gains strength. 
With that being said, they realized this morning that he really needed another blood transfusion (this will be like his fifth or sixth, I think). The fact that he had been hanging out highly anemic could definetely have contributed to his trouble oxygenating recently. I am sure he's grateful for a bit of a boost. The weekend should be pretty uneventful-for Shepherd.
 My amazing family is working on Noah's grad party. I desperately wanted to celebrate this huge accomplishment  with my honey but I've been a tad distracted.It is a huge act of love for the people who love Noah so beautifully to give so much of their time, money, homes, and talents to making his graduation special. Thank you, guys. 

Speaking of talents, service, and love- a couple ladies from church came by to visit the other day. They came with the purpose of helping us figure out how  they could serve us and how they could help our whole family figure out our new normal- at church.  It was so thoughtful. We are still trying to figure out what will be possible. How do we be with our church family without exposing Shepherd to sickness? How do we go to church without exposing our other 2 kids to the myriad of germs in their classrooms? What about the simple facts of Shepherd's physical needs while at church? I dunno.
But God does and I am excited that he's going to use many others to help us figure it out.
And GREAT news....
Shepherd has taken over 20mL's by mouth, 2 days in a row!!!!!!
They have been using this special bottle with a really slow flow and he's lovin it. So maybe it will be sooner than we thought to get his ng tube out. Oh, I hope so. Putting that thing down his nose is a rare form of torture.... for both of us. 
Well, I am going to attempt a good night's sleep. Attempt being the key word.
Please pray for all the details that have to come together for Shep's homecoming.
We hope to see many of you tomorrow at Noah's grad party.

So this is how they take Shepherd to procedures and xrays. He and all of his equipment. Isn't that cute? Aslan thought it was so cool he got a TV in his wagon with him.
Cousins. Many of his adoring cousins got to visit this week, now that were out of the PICU. They have all been praying for Shepherd for so long, never actually having met him. We are so blessed.
Momma time
This is our good-bye RMH picture. It was a long time coming, but it arrived. I pray God will show us clearly how to serve this place in the future.
Ride em cowboy. Aslan's taking "luggage" to the car.

These are all pics of my boys as newborns. It's just fun to compare and remember. Can you guess which is which?

Haddon and Aslan


1 comment:

Sylvia Goode Basham said...

Good, good news! Thanks for taking the time to post.