Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter

I feel like there is so much that I want to write but I don't have the energy to do it. So, for I know I will just try to keep it to the basic update. Shepherd has miraculously continued to do better today, in small but substantial ways. He is still on the CPAP, but his heart rate and more importantly his respiratory rate (RR) have evened out. Anytime he has been off the breathing tube previuosly, he has truly had to labor to breath, putting his heart rate higher and his RR anywhere from 70-115. 30-60 is normal and today he has been in the 50's and 60's. I truly didn't know it was possible for him to breath fairly normally without the ventilator, and I wholeheartedly believe it shouldn't be possible. BUT GOD  HAS SUSTAINED HIM!!! All the odds are against him and there is no reason why he should be able to do this. It wasn't until this evening that they began talking about starting him on low level feeds of breast milk. That is a really good sign that they don't anticipate re-intubating him! They have been weary of doing this over the past couple of days because they weren't convinced he was going to be able to do this- and I wasn't either. In fact I don't think he can do this, but I know that thus far God has truly opened his airway and given him strength for each breath. I will call the hospital in the next couple of hours after they do night rounds and get a better idea of their plan for tonight but I think they are encouraged by what they are seeing. I know we are. Yet, I would be lying to say I'm not struggling with fear. I am sooooooo grateful to see him having these victories. Yet with each victory is the fear that I will hang my hope on that and then have my hope horribly disappointed. So, I pray I don't stay there, because I want to marvel and delight it what God has done TODAY. And TODAY God has carried our little Shepherd farther than any of us could have hoped. Thank you, Father.


Kennasmommy said...

Praise God! Praying 4 you ALL!!!!

Anonymous said...

What great news! I celebrate TODAY with you as well, no matter what tomorrow might bring, although my prayer is that it will be more great news.

I love you,

Hugh & Hollie Carson said...

I am thrilled to hear such great news. Thank you Jesus! We are praying for Shepherd all day, every day. We are telling others about him and hoping they will pray. We're in this with you.

growingdaybyday said...

I am going to say something that I am praying will not offend. One thing I had to realize when my daughter was in the NICU was that so much of my fear was rational, but I was also struggling with post partum depression. I am not saying you have ppd, but I am saying, please remember to take good care of you and to discuss your feelings, etc... with your Dr if you feel the need or if you feel overwhelmed.

KR said...

I am so thankful Stephanie that you KNOW God. Because your post reveals something so beautiful and so critical for all of us...our feelings will go up and down and all around. But when we KNOW God, we KNOW that HE stays solid, steady, unflappable. In the face of our fears, Shepherd's respiratory ups and downs, or constantly changing medical opinions, God is making a way.

HE is with you, with Shepherd. May it be to His continued glory that Shepherd defy the textbooks, breathe easily, eat well and grow strong. Much love, Kelly

Anonymous said...

Praise God for the small steps. Always praying.

Much love to you all-

Anonymous said...

I know you don't know who I am but I am one of Allyson Newcomb's friends. She keeps me updated on Shep and I have been reading your blogs on his outcome. PRAISE GOD is all I can say. I myself am going through trials with both of my children and to see the wonderful miraculous work God has done for your son gives me hope that too he will do great things for my children. Thank you for sharing this story with all of us and I will keep waiting to see how he does and keep praying and I pray for you to have peace and rest today in knowing tha God is all powerfull and will take care of your child.
Love in Christ,
Amy Thorne-Smith